Making Your Life Yours

#blogtunes  (full disclosure: feelin the country today)
Where I Come From- Montgomery Gentry
Mud on the Tires- Brad Paisley
Knee Deep- Zac Brown Band (love this song!)
Bonfire- Craig Morgan
Sweet Home Alabama- Lynyrd Skynyrd (Aw yeah)
It's a Great Day to Be Alive- Travis Tritt
Holler Back- The Lost Trailers
If You Ever Stop Loving Me- Montgomery Gentry (so perfect for this post)
The Only Place That I Call Home- Justin Moore

  So, this may seem like a touchy subject and I can very easily step on some toes with this post; but I'm going for it.  Which is what this whole topic is about: Going For It.  There was a large part of my life where I was more concerned with what others thought of my life than what I thought of it (and admittedly, this is something I wholeheartedly struggle with to this day, but slowly overcoming it).  One day I woke up and realized I didn't want to keep going down the path I was on, that I was disappointing myself to avoid the disappointment of others involved in my life.  If this is you and you need help getting off your path and onto another, well, this is your lucky, awesome day.

  I feel like I may be a bit of an expert in disappointing people (self proclaimed), but it has begun to really grow on me.  Being the outcast can actually be really liberating and gives you a nice strong backbone; also a ton of motivation (you wanna prove all those nay-sayers wrong, right?)

  A little backstory...  I don't really ever remember people telling me "You can be whatever you want to be", which is, of course, what every parent tells their kid, right?  I'm not saying I never got told this, but I don't actively remember hearing it a lot.  You know what I heard a lot?  "You're going to college."  Period.  Statement.  End of discussion.  So, from a very young age I was, dare I say brainwashed (!?), to believe that this was what I needed to do to get the approval that every kid seeks from their parents.  So I went to college, made excellent (mostly) grades, earned scholarships and grants (the whole shebang) and found that it really wasn't for me.

  (Sidebar.  Ok.  I do not regret going to college.  I made a lot of great friends and connections and got to participate in a college Symphony for three years.  Plus it really gave me some time to iron out which direction I wanted my life to go.  But it cost me thousands of dollars to basically grow up and nut up and ask myself the hard questions about my life.  Ok.  Sidebar over.)

  So I left college (didn't graduate) and went to Pastry School.  Holy disappointment explosion!  I took a lot of heat for this decision from my family.  Like a ton.  And it scared the hell out of me to not have the full support of my family.  By this time I was married and my husband was the backbone that I needed.  He was 100% supportive for me when I couldn't be that for myself.

  And I stand behind that decision every day.  Just like I am learning to stand proudly behind every life decision I have made since then.  Like not finishing my degree, taking an unpaid internship (yikes!), moving our little family, becoming a stay-at-home mom (therefore wasting what little education I have acquired) and I will continue to be supportive of myself, no matter how hard that is.  Now that you have this bit about me, I'm basically going to give you a little pep talk; it's just as much for me as it is for you.  Promise.

-It is Never Too Late to Start Again
  Oh, preach.  You don't like what your life is?  You need to change it.  Tomorrow is too late, Ok?  You only ride through this life the one time, my friends, so when you get to the end of yours will you be happy with it?  Think about how many hours you spend at work, away from your family, each week.  Then figure up how many days you lose to your job.  Are you Ok with that number?  If you have a job you love, then yeah, that number is probably fine; but if you don't?  C'mon!  There were people in pastry school with me that were in their forties, fifties and sixties changing career paths.  If they can do it, so can you!  Don't wait another minute to change whatever it is that is making you unhappy. 

-Start Anywhere
  Start with something little.  You spend your days off being uber lazy when you have this huge list of things you want to do "someday".  Or the "Oh, I've always wanted to do that", what is stopping you?!  You are stopping you.  You want something?  Make.  It.  Happen.  Start with anything, and you will be inspired to change so much other stuff.  Just Start.

-No procrastinating!
  This is huge, people!  "Later" can so easily become never.  (Morbidity on the way).  My mom died in her forties after losing a fight with cancer (she one the first battle, but lost the second).  There were probably hundreds of things she wanted to still do with her life, telling herself she had time to do it later.  But she didn't.  You never know when this life will be over.  So if today was your very last day, would you be satisfied with how you've lived your life so far?  Have you been living for you?  Don't wait another minute.

-"The Bucket List"
  I have some mixed thoughts on this movie, but it's a good place to start.  Make a list of all the things you want still from your life.  And start checking them off.  This movie broke my heart for so many reasons.  If he had never gotten sick (Morgan Freeman's character) he would have never evaluated his life and made that list.  You should not wait until death is knocking on your door to re-evaluate your life.  You should be living it on your terms.  Everyday.  Half the things on his list had nothing to do with having money, things like "witnessing a miracle", "kissing the most beautiful girl in the world", these are moments, not possessions.  And when you ask yourself what you really want, it should be something that makes you happy, not make you rich.  Now, if those go hand in hand, so be it; but your goal should be to be happy, right?

  My Great Aunt, in her eighties and in way better shape than me, told me that you should never chase the money.  That you should make what you need to take care of your family and yourself, but spend most of your life seeking happiness.  Money comes and goes, just like good times come and go, but if you spend your whole life chasing that dollar the good times will become fewer and the bad times plenty.  Money can't buy happiness.  (There will be a blog post about living without 'things' coming soon.  Promise.)  Ok, if my Great Aunt stands by these words, then I should.  She's been around way longer than me, seen and lived through worse; I'm gonna listen.  And you should too.

  I really hoped this helped some of you that maybe needed that little push to break out of the mold or any lingering self doubt you have.  The only thing you need: support.  Ideally, you need to support yourself (mentally), but if you're like me and need that approval from someone, you need the support of your significant other or best friend.  One person is all you need telling you to go for it.  I can be that person, right now.

  Go for it!  Meet all your expectations, and throw everyone else's away.  You will love yourself for this self given gift.  Free yourself and be awesome.