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Letting Go of Fear

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  I know I have talked about taking your life into your own hands and taking a stand, but I've never really talked about fear.  Fear is a huge problem.  It takes over everything if you let it; the ultimate life-ending virus.  Many people are plagued by fear including me.  I'm scared of a ton of things, and we're not just talking about the spiders that live on my deck here, I mean legit internal brain wave fear.  So, here I am, again, ready to help you let go of these fears, whatever they are.

1.  What is this doing for you?

  Ok, there are a ton of people out there preaching that fear is a good thing, that it is ok to be afraid.  It's our deep primal wiring to be cautious; you know that whole fight or flight instinct.  Ok.  What.  Ever.

  Yes, we have fight or flight instincts and it will be a rare day that we will actually have to use those instincts.  Those are literally built into us for life threatening emergencies; not for asking someone on a date or taking that hair bending job that would mean giving up your cushy office.  Fear is good when you are dealing with a threatening animal, not when you are dealing with your life.  Fear literally does nothing except hold you back, if there was a person in your life holding you back at every turn, you'd drop them like a stone in the river, right?  So, why are you letting fear hold you back?  You are using your fear as an excuse not to take a risk or take a chance on yourself.  You are worth taking a risk.

2. Recognizing Your Fear
 
  This is the hardest thing, right?  Admitting to yourself that you are just plain cowardly.  So, I will say this; it is ok to be afraid, as long as you acknowledge it and vow to change it.  Now, that being said, some people are ok with certain fears, like public speaking or being in confined spaces.  That's fine if you're fine with it.  You've accepted this fear as a part of yourself, is it good?  Not really, but it's ok.  We are not perfect.  We all have our flaws.  It's when you let that fear hold you down that it becomes bad.

  I struggle big time with fear, what if this/ what if that; that is my life on a regular basis.  And at the end of the day I know it is not healthy and that I need to buck up and face my fears if I want to live a different life.  Understanding your fear is the first step to making it go away.  If you don't really understand what you are afraid of, you're fighting with the wrong weapons.

3. Failure

  This is where most of our fear originates, right?  Good 'ole failure.  The "F" word.  I'm going to throw this out there and say (for sure the younger generations) our parents did not teach us about failure on a regular basis.  Our parents always wanted us to succeed and in some way engrained in us this ultimate fear of failure.  Ok, enough parent blaming, right?  I hear ya.  Regardless of how this fear got inside of us, it is the number one reason why we do not take chances or risks on ourselves.  This fear of failure has become such a blockade in our minds that sometimes even trying new foods is frightening.  What if I don't like it?!

  Yes, this is literally where we are.  And you look around at people who are successful, running their own companies, publishing books, you think that shit just happened to them?  No.  They said to themselves, "You know what.  I'm doing it."  And they didn't let fear or failure hold them back.  You think Edison got the light bulb right the first time?  No, he failed.  1,000 times he failed.  And you know what he said?  Not that he failed a thousand times, that "the light bulb was an invention with a thousand steps."  Boom.

  My husband tells me this all the time:  If you never try, you'll never know.  This could be awesome.  It could be bad.  But if you stay right where you are you'll never know.  (Great guy right?)

  And when you fail, and you will, you pick yourself back up and try again.  Don't let the fear suck you back in. 

4. Believe in Yourself

  Sometimes this is the hardest part, just having the confidence to stand up to fear.  What is the worst that could happen?  Failure?  That's not so bad.  You can overcome failure.  You are so much stronger than you could ever believe, you just have to stop telling yourself you are weak.  Plain and simple.  We are our worst critic.  We know exactly what to say to ourselves to completely shut it down, to do irreparable damage.  But we also know exactly what to say to lift ourselves up.  The problem is we do more of the former than the latter.

  Maybe this is where most of us should start when fighting against fear.  Start deep within yourself and find the strength that is inside you; you're going to need all of it.


  Thank you for reading my little bit about fear.  It is something I struggle with as well, so even if you didn't get much out of it, it was helpful for me.  Please like, comment, subscribe and follow me over on IG (@alyxandraramos) 

  Remember to be positive and above all, be brave.



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