If you follow me on Instagram or regularly on the blog, then you know our family is about to get bigger. And very, very soon. Like, in two more weeks soon. My first pregnancy, I was a planner and a doer. I felt I was prepared for the arrival of my child. Maybe not the actual giving birth part (because, seriously, who is ever really ready for that?), but I knew my stuff. I had the nursery set up months in advance, clothes laundered and ready, stashes of diapers and rash cream, I had done tons of research and felt ready to tackle any problem from thrush to cradle cap. Dammit, I was ready!This time around, I seriously dropped the ball. First I gave myself an out because the first trimester was completely unbearable. Then the summer was ending and I felt guilty because I hadn't spent enough time with my kid so we planed a few mini vacations. Then the holidays. Oh and my sister's wedding. Then my kid's last birthday as an only child. Suddenly I looked at the calendar and how big I was getting and realized I was due in less than a month. I mean, what the f*ck happened?! Did I mention we are moving as well? Yep, about 3-5 days before my due date! So let's hit the brakes for a second and talk about some things you can do while pregnant to take the edge off; and you better believe I am taking a dose of my own medicine on this one! I need all the help I can get.
1. RelaxEasier said than done, am I right? Because there is always something that has to be done; at work, at home, with your kids or spouse. I know, this sounds like empty, common advice, but you need to listen to it. Remember, you're growing a human being in there! That takes a ton of energy and you deserve to take it easy every now and then, especially at the end when things can get exceptionally unbearable. So, if you need to sit, sit. You need to take a nap, find a way to make that happen. And try to remain stress free. Enjoy the alone time you and your partner have before the baby comes. Enjoy your children before you bring another one along. I regret not cherishing this precious time with my kid now that I'm pregnant and about to have another one. The doubt has been eating at me, wondering if I have been enough for him. The only thing I can do now is vow to be better and hold myself accountable. So when I feel like I need to sit, he sits with me and we read together or do a puzzle. Sometimes I nap when he naps and I try not to set my expectations too high for myself. And we are all happier for it.
2. Make a List
3. Ask for HelpEver hear that saying, "It takes a village to raise a child"? It's not unjustified. Parenting is a team sport and I know that for nine very long months it has been you carrying the entire team (literally), but spouses are usually dying to get in on the action. They are sitting on the bench, restless, waiting to be called in; I promise. So, call them in! Take advantage of this! Let them get you the water and bring you the food and cook dinner. Let them help however they want, it will take a lot of stress off of you and remember you're in this together. It took two to put that baby in there and it'll take the two of you to raise it. You'll need each other more than ever when the baby finally comes so get used to sharing responsibilities and relying on one another equally. And after the baby comes it will be natural for you to want to do everything yourself, but you just can't. That is how you lose yourself in the darkness, I promise you. You and your partner are equal in this, so don't feel like you have to be the one doing all the decision making, the worrying, the diaper changes, the doctor's appointments; do it together. And remember, this is a joyous occasion; so don't fret!
4. Give Yourself a Pep Talk
Yes, very important. You are going to need to be the best self-cheerleader this world has ever seen, because pregnancy can be a real drag, alright? Especially at the end. I remember my last pregnancy calling my husband every day from work crying. I don't even remember what I was so upset about. Maybe I dropped some product on the floor or burned something (I was a pastry cook), maybe my goal list was really long that day, maybe there wasn't any toilet paper in the bathroom; who f*cking knows, but there was a lot of crying. And I cry quite a bit now. I needed to sit down and have a conversation with someone concerning my older child and I went into this with a strong mind and opinions and maybe five seconds into the discussion I was a blubbering mess. And, as women, we already get a bad wrap from society about being too emotional and connected and basically just soft. And here I was proving all of that right, but my body is seriously overdosing on hormones that I cannot control! Luckily the person I was conversing with (if you could call it that) was a mother herself and has quite a large brood (seven, to be exact) and all she felt for me was pure sympathy. And she understood that I wasn't some soft overly emotional woman, but was just have a bad case of the pregnancy wails and didn't hold it against me. Thank goodness. But when these things happen, you just have to let it out, brush yourself off, straighten that spine (without hurting yourself) and tell yourself, "I'm Ok. This is Ok. That's over now, let's move on." Then you let the rational woman come back out and put the hormonal crazy one back in her padded room until she needs to make an appearance again. You're going to be Ok. This is all normal. Annoying and embarrassing? You bet. But, normal just the same.
5. Be Honest with YourselfThis is probably the hardest one, for me anyway. I usually let the hormonal woman run the show when I'm pregnant, which can make things very difficult for pretty much everyone involved in my pregnancy. She never tells the truth and is always looking stuff up on the Internet (which you should really not do, Ok? Ask your doctor.) and she always worries about every single little thing. So I usually try and combat her with facts and truths. It's the only way to get her to quiet down. Yes, your body is changing and looking weirder by the day and yes, some women look fantastic when pregnant and some of us don't. We're all different and that's Ok. Will your partner look at you differently after this? Yes. For good, mostly, so don't worry so much on the bad. Your partner will have this new respect for you and a new found love that didn't exist before. Things will be different and yes, much harder, but you can do this. We are women. We have been having babies for a very long time. We are so much more powerful and strong than we give ourselves credit. So, tell yourself the truth. Don't spare yourself some harshness, you can handle it, I promise. And believe me, you think you're a strong person now? Wait until you are holding that baby for the first time. There will not be a doubt in your mind that you cannot move mountains for this little being. You will find strength you never knew you had, because this is the only thing that matters now, your kid. Your family. They are all that matters. So, just be honest. Future you will thank you for keeping the hormonal one at bay.
Pregnancy is not all sunshine and rainbows and glowing skin. Sometimes it seriously sucks. Whether this is your first baby or your tenth, it's always a toss up of how it will go. I hope these tips have helped you. Here I am, two weeks till baby number two comes, and I am very unprepared. But, I'm being honest, I'm letting my husband do the heavy lifting and planning, I've made my lists and am eating up as much couch time as I can because walking and bending over is seriously overrated. And I'm going to make it. No doubt about it, things will turn out. Happy Pregnancy!
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