#blogtunes
What Do You Think About That- Montgomery Gentry
Sideways- Dierks Bently
Frontline- Pillar
If You could Only See- Tonic
Hero- Skillet
The Way You Make Me Feel- Michael Jackson
So, before we get too far along into this topic, let me just say a little something about my #blogtunes. I love music. Of every kind. And music sometimes help me write, so whatever it is I am listening to while writing for you or editing, I'd like to share. Maybe you'll find something you like, something new to listen to; maybe it will give you some insight to who is writing this blog. Either way, love it, hate it; the #blogtunes are here to stay.
Alright, so you want to be a stay-at-home parent or you already are, how funny, me too. Let me start by saying, I was not always a stay-at-home Mom. (Gasp!) I know. And trust me when I say, if someone would have told me I would be at home when I got pregnant, I would have promptly told them where to shove it.
I had absolutely no intention of staying at home. I was going to work! I loved my job and I wanted to keep at it. Then when the little animal came, I couldn't bear the idea of a stranger watching him. I didn't want to miss anything, his first smile, first steps; would someone else witness all of these things before me?! That was simply unacceptable; but my husband was quick to remind me that we could not afford for me to stay at home. At the time I made more money than him and it was my salary that was needed to help keep things running. He, however, was only making enough to cover the daycare bill; barely.
So, my husband stayed home and I went back to work. I was OK with that. I still liked my job, although I had to adjust my hours, but at least my husband was at home with my son. Then the fatigue started in. I was getting up for work at 3:30 every morning, giving me time to pump, (Yep, I breastfed!) and make the commute to work at the pastry shop. I worked into the afternoon and really honed in so I didn't think about the little animal at home without his mommy.
But, after about a week, I was barely what you could call living. I was still doing late night feedings, getting up before the sun and keeping up with household duties (my husband was not exactly into domesticity). I had never been so tired in my life, and actually a large part of the beginnings of my son's life is a blur. Even now, my husband will say, "You don't remember doing that? He was about three months old and we went to such-and-such?"
Complete blank. I hardly remember anything. Nice, right?
Soon, my husband got a call with a job offer from his old boss in Oklahoma, where we went to college. After he called three times, my husband finally admitted that he didn't really like staying at home and he wanted to go back to work. Would I be willing to move to another state, Missouri, so he could?
I had one question: "Will I be able to stay at home?", "Yes."
Boom.
Oh? Let me just go pack my bags.
That's how I became a stay-at-home Mom. And I realized the first day my husband went to work, I had never actually been alone with my child for more than half an hour. And I immediately thought, I can't do this! But I did. And let me tell you, staying at home has a lot of benefits, but also comes with it's share of drawbacks.
I went from having a job that I could leave at the end of the day, that paid me, gave me time off and a boss who always took good care of me; to a job that pays me nothing, am on call 24/7, I have to work holidays and my boss is crazy demanding and not a great conversationalist. I mean, very rarely will you have a job where your boss will require you to provide them every meal, change their clothes and help them go to the bathroom. But now, that's the boss I have.
With that being said, it can be a great job. I have missed nothing. And I know every single thing there is to know about my child. I am an expert. And that is exactly what I wanted; and watching him grow and learn has been nothing short of miraculous. He's a pretty rad kid. And the thing you have in abundance (for now), flexibility. If you want to stay at home and watch T.V., you can. If you want to pack up and go visit your family for a week, you can! If you love to travel, do it now before they go to school, while you only have your spouses schedule to work around.
Now is really the time to soak up every inch of your kid and learn a little about yourself along the way. I never knew I liked to write, because I was always so busy being busy. First with school then with building my career, but when I started staying at home I got some downtime every now and then. I used my downtime to do the things I loved. Writing, reading, sketching (I hadn't sketched in years, and now I have time!), hiking; I mean do you remember when you used to have hobbies? And then you got too busy to have them? Now you can have them and share them with your kid.
I'm really selling it, right? So, here are some major bummers about staying at home (at least for me), you can feel severely under appreciated. At every other job you've had, you got feedback of some sort (raises, ass-chewing, etc.), but you literally receive none from your new boss. And everything revolves around them. They set the pace and tone for the entire day. Sometimes kids have bad days, just like adults, and it always seems to be the day you have big plans or are having an off day yourself.
When I had a bad day at work, (overcooked the caramel candy or forgot to put gelatin in the 300+ mousse bombs I made, yikes!) I could come home, have a glass of wine and let the day go. When you stay at home, there is no end of the work day. There is no escaping your work place, unless you literally leave your house. There are still days that I wake up and go through the same routine as the day before and think, "I used to be important. I used to do things that mattered to people. And now I'm just a glorified housekeeper. I mean, what the f*@# happened!"
You are still important. In fact, you have one of the most important jobs, but it hardly ever seems that way. It's at this point that you need to talk with your spouse, get it off your chest and let it go. And then plan a day by yourself. A purely selfish day. Seriously, do it. It is important for you to make time for yourself and be a little selfish every now and then. If you're not happy and can't keep your sanity, then what is the point of doing this? If it was any other job and it made you feel stressed out all day every day and made you a wreck, you would quit. You need to remember to take care of yourself, because, seriously, no one else probably will. Just like you are giving your kid the best, you have to give yourself the best. Don't you want your kid to have the best version of you? Then do what you need for yourself so that your kid gets exactly that; it'll make you happy too.
I could go on and on about staying at home, but this is just a bit about it. There will be more posts about parenting and some of the struggles that come along with it; because it is seriously the hardest job you will ever have, whether you stay at home or not. Don't give up, your kid loves you; I promise. To them you are the moon and stars just like they are your entire universe.
Remember to like, repost and leave comments! I would love to hear from you, even if you are just my family reading this. I like to hear from you too!
What Do You Think About That- Montgomery Gentry
Sideways- Dierks Bently
Frontline- Pillar
If You could Only See- Tonic
Hero- Skillet
The Way You Make Me Feel- Michael Jackson
So, before we get too far along into this topic, let me just say a little something about my #blogtunes. I love music. Of every kind. And music sometimes help me write, so whatever it is I am listening to while writing for you or editing, I'd like to share. Maybe you'll find something you like, something new to listen to; maybe it will give you some insight to who is writing this blog. Either way, love it, hate it; the #blogtunes are here to stay.
Alright, so you want to be a stay-at-home parent or you already are, how funny, me too. Let me start by saying, I was not always a stay-at-home Mom. (Gasp!) I know. And trust me when I say, if someone would have told me I would be at home when I got pregnant, I would have promptly told them where to shove it.
I had absolutely no intention of staying at home. I was going to work! I loved my job and I wanted to keep at it. Then when the little animal came, I couldn't bear the idea of a stranger watching him. I didn't want to miss anything, his first smile, first steps; would someone else witness all of these things before me?! That was simply unacceptable; but my husband was quick to remind me that we could not afford for me to stay at home. At the time I made more money than him and it was my salary that was needed to help keep things running. He, however, was only making enough to cover the daycare bill; barely.
So, my husband stayed home and I went back to work. I was OK with that. I still liked my job, although I had to adjust my hours, but at least my husband was at home with my son. Then the fatigue started in. I was getting up for work at 3:30 every morning, giving me time to pump, (Yep, I breastfed!) and make the commute to work at the pastry shop. I worked into the afternoon and really honed in so I didn't think about the little animal at home without his mommy.
But, after about a week, I was barely what you could call living. I was still doing late night feedings, getting up before the sun and keeping up with household duties (my husband was not exactly into domesticity). I had never been so tired in my life, and actually a large part of the beginnings of my son's life is a blur. Even now, my husband will say, "You don't remember doing that? He was about three months old and we went to such-and-such?"
Complete blank. I hardly remember anything. Nice, right?
Soon, my husband got a call with a job offer from his old boss in Oklahoma, where we went to college. After he called three times, my husband finally admitted that he didn't really like staying at home and he wanted to go back to work. Would I be willing to move to another state, Missouri, so he could?
I had one question: "Will I be able to stay at home?", "Yes."
Boom.
Oh? Let me just go pack my bags.
That's how I became a stay-at-home Mom. And I realized the first day my husband went to work, I had never actually been alone with my child for more than half an hour. And I immediately thought, I can't do this! But I did. And let me tell you, staying at home has a lot of benefits, but also comes with it's share of drawbacks.
I went from having a job that I could leave at the end of the day, that paid me, gave me time off and a boss who always took good care of me; to a job that pays me nothing, am on call 24/7, I have to work holidays and my boss is crazy demanding and not a great conversationalist. I mean, very rarely will you have a job where your boss will require you to provide them every meal, change their clothes and help them go to the bathroom. But now, that's the boss I have.
With that being said, it can be a great job. I have missed nothing. And I know every single thing there is to know about my child. I am an expert. And that is exactly what I wanted; and watching him grow and learn has been nothing short of miraculous. He's a pretty rad kid. And the thing you have in abundance (for now), flexibility. If you want to stay at home and watch T.V., you can. If you want to pack up and go visit your family for a week, you can! If you love to travel, do it now before they go to school, while you only have your spouses schedule to work around.
Now is really the time to soak up every inch of your kid and learn a little about yourself along the way. I never knew I liked to write, because I was always so busy being busy. First with school then with building my career, but when I started staying at home I got some downtime every now and then. I used my downtime to do the things I loved. Writing, reading, sketching (I hadn't sketched in years, and now I have time!), hiking; I mean do you remember when you used to have hobbies? And then you got too busy to have them? Now you can have them and share them with your kid.
I'm really selling it, right? So, here are some major bummers about staying at home (at least for me), you can feel severely under appreciated. At every other job you've had, you got feedback of some sort (raises, ass-chewing, etc.), but you literally receive none from your new boss. And everything revolves around them. They set the pace and tone for the entire day. Sometimes kids have bad days, just like adults, and it always seems to be the day you have big plans or are having an off day yourself.
You are still important. In fact, you have one of the most important jobs, but it hardly ever seems that way. It's at this point that you need to talk with your spouse, get it off your chest and let it go. And then plan a day by yourself. A purely selfish day. Seriously, do it. It is important for you to make time for yourself and be a little selfish every now and then. If you're not happy and can't keep your sanity, then what is the point of doing this? If it was any other job and it made you feel stressed out all day every day and made you a wreck, you would quit. You need to remember to take care of yourself, because, seriously, no one else probably will. Just like you are giving your kid the best, you have to give yourself the best. Don't you want your kid to have the best version of you? Then do what you need for yourself so that your kid gets exactly that; it'll make you happy too.
I could go on and on about staying at home, but this is just a bit about it. There will be more posts about parenting and some of the struggles that come along with it; because it is seriously the hardest job you will ever have, whether you stay at home or not. Don't give up, your kid loves you; I promise. To them you are the moon and stars just like they are your entire universe.
Remember to like, repost and leave comments! I would love to hear from you, even if you are just my family reading this. I like to hear from you too!
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